Kano House of Comedy
By Yakubu Musa
I don't know how Federal Capital Territory (FCT) Minister Mallam Nasir el-Rufai would have described our honourable lawmakers in Kano State, by the time the story of their scandalous PhD degrees reached him. Fools? No. That amounts to putting it so mildly. And El Rufai is not known for that, notwithstanding his apologies to our distinguished senators. We certainly need a stronger term to label these honourables, who brought a monumental shame to Kano people and their politics.
But for the benefit of those who don't know the story, the "makers of laws" in our state are now so desperate about certificates that they resorted to buying honorary PhD at the rate of N10,000 just to make up for their apparently poor academic CVs.
Before the bubble eventually burst, the Chief whip of the House, Alh. Bala Kosawa had already been conferred with an honorary PhD by an Institute of Human and Natural Resources, which is not recognized to bestow such an honor on anyone. Interestingly, the conmen chose Sir Kassim Ibrahim House in Kaduna State for the ceremony. And trust our certificate-crazy legislators: the Chief Whip went with a team of supporters to celebrate 'an honour well- deserved'. Just a few days later, local radio stations and Triumph news papers in Kano state were awash with congratulatory messages: our Super Chief has frog- jumped himself into the world of academic excellence. From being a secondary school certificate holder, he is now a proud PhD holder. And the honor was supposed to be a reward for a wonderful legislative career. Congrats.
However, after the chief whip received his degree, the House lined up another set of legislators for the PhDs. Hon.Aminu Sani (Kumbotso LG) Hon. Kabiru Muhammed(Tarauni) and Hon. Abdul Rasak (Shanono/ Bagwai) had also been nominated to the 419 institution, for the award of the PhDs. But the State security Service (SSS) came to their rescue at the last minute although the damage had been done. The nominees had converged at Central Hotel, Kano with thousands of supporters for the moment of honor when they were told that Mr Philip Onunkwu, the liaison officer, northern operation of the syndicate had been nabbed by the SSS. Then it dawn on them that they were duped. Somebody had played a fast one on them. The lawmakers had dragged not only their names in the gutter, but the collective attention of indigenes of the state has now been drawn to the kind of people that are making laws for us. My heart bled when I saw a letter written by the House and signed by one of its directors, Alh. Ado Babale, nominating the legislators for the honor. The state director of the SSS, Alh. Sadik Dalhatu, who paraded Onunkwu pointed out that all you need to do if you want the certificate is to pay the sum of N10,000, and it is done. He expressed surprise at how hundreds of people have been patronizing them despite that even the printing quality of the certificate was extremely poor. Our lawmakers cherish it like piece of diamond. That is why we must all be disturbed.
Indeed, I wouldn't have been worried if there were no correspondences of official letters between the House and the syndicate. Thus every right thinking Kano indigene must loose sleep over this development. Our House of Assembly, nominating honourable members to a 419 syndicate for honour without any investigation? If there is any problem that needs to be probed how then can the House investigate it? What kind of bills has the House been passing since its inauguration? Can we even trust the House for further legislative duties?
The truth, however, is that: this scandalous and shameful development should not go unnoticed. It is a wake up call for Kano people about the kind of "comedians" we have been electing as our representatives in the House that makes law for us. The House has so far passed tons of bills but nobody can exactly remember them and of course their relevance to Kano people.
I have noticed that one of the styles of the House, since its inaguratuion is : within a moment that a member raises a motion on its floor, the next thing is that it will be passed into law or a resolution must be passed. To clear any doubt about this, let me give an example. I had the privilege of covering the proceedings of the House at the height of the controversy between Kano State Government and Eng. Bako Sarai, a PDP House Representatives member from the state, who received a beating of his life at the hands of overzealous security men attached to the State Governor, Mallam Ibrahim Shekarau.
When we were invited to witness the proceedings, I was astonished to observe that the motion was just tabled and within some few minutes, the lawmakers unanimously agreed that Sarai's action was condemnable and hence deserved to be punished by the Speaker of the House of Representatives, Alhaji Aminu Bello Masari. The House never deemed it right to set up a committee to first investigate the matter before issuing its resolution. But my second and sad observation is that: the House would have been complete if the likes of Rabilu Musa Dan Ibro (that famous comedian), had won an election from his Wudil local government constituency. Or how do you see it if Chiroki(another daring comedian) is representing Kano Municipal or is it Gwale local government at the House? Indeed, they would have added more to the kind of comical scenes we saw that day. One of my southern colleagues burst into laughter, when he heard some of the lawmakers while arguing over Sarai's offence, saying :"We are calling on the Nahinal Asambile to fanish Bako Sarai immediately because what he did was an attemft of assasinahin on our gobernor." I could not help but to join my colleague in laughter, even though inside me I was crying.
This is the stark reality about our lawmakers in Kano. Unfortunately, the only times they make news is when they embark on the "legislative" trips to Denmark and other European and Middle East jamborees they have been enjoying. Up to now we are yet to understand why taxpayers' money must be spent on their foreign trips, from which there were no dividends. In fact with this recent development, I find it difficult to fathom what benefits they will get apart from lining their pockets with estacodes. We are keenly watching and we will not judge them by how many degrees- honorary or dishonorary- they have.
The House, however, needs not ignore the importance of this matter. In a civilized society, Kosawa and co should not wait to be asked to resign from their positions. No body should remind them that their seats are meant for only serious minded people. And we haven't seen that character in them so far. And of course, they should immediately take the advantage of Universal Basic Education (UBE). I didn't say mass education. They can, still be enrolled to begin a rigorous journey for a true certificate. For Kano people, let me say: next time, we should be honest with ourselves to vote for the Dan Ibiros if we want to continue to have an Animal Farm set up as our legislative house. We should go for the only four legs, who are said to be good. But even among the four legs, let us go for the pigs since they claimed to have a better mental capacity to do the job. And they don't need a fake PhD to boost their CVs. They can judge their achievement on the amount of laughter they cause.
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