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» BNW : Biafra Nigeria World Message Board: the Voice of a New Generation » BNW Entertainment: Home of B-Nollywood » Laugh it off @ the BNW Improv » Only in America.

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Author Topic: Only in America.
Ednut
Supreme Advocate
Advocate # 20

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The Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on
herself and successfully sued McDonalds. That case inspired the Stella Awards
for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States.

Unfortunately the most recent lawsuit implicating McDonalds, the teens who
allege that eating at McDonalds has made them fat, was filed after the 2002
award voting was closed.

This suit will top the 2003 awards list without question.


5th place (Tied)
Kathleen Robertson of Austin Texas was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers
after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a
furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the
verdict, considering the misbehaving toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.


5th place (Tied)
19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his
neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently did not
notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal the
hubcaps.


5th place (Tied)
Terrence Dickson of Bristol Pennsylvania was leaving a house he had just
finished robbing by way of the garage door. He was not able to get the garage
door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning.

He could not reenter the house because the door connecting the house and garage
locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation and Mr. Dickson found
himself locked in the garage for 8 days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he
found and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance
claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The Jury agreed to
the tune of $500,000.

4th Place
Jerry Williams of Little Rock Arkansas was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses
after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's Beagle dog. The
Beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard.

The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been a
little provoked at the time as Mr. Williams, who had climbed over the fence into
the yard, was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

3rd place
A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of
Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke
her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had
thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

2nd Place
Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware sued the owner of a nightclub in a neighboring
city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out two of
her front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton was trying to crawl in through
the window of the Ladies Room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was
awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

1st Place
This year's runaway winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.
Mr. Grazinski purchased a new Winnebago motorhome. On his trip home from an OU
football game, having driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70
mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back and make himself a cup
of coffee. Not surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned.
Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the owner's manual that he
could not actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new
Winnebago Motor Home.

The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in
case there were any other complete morons buying their recreation vehicles.

___________________
Feel me? Ofu onye ana asi unu abia go. - Ednut Igbo-American .
www.airamericaradio.com visit her.

Posts: 2503 | From: Mother Earth | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged
   

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