Ugbua kam mara k'ihunanya gi si di ukwu
n'ebem no
M g'esi a�a chefue gi?
Dika osisi udara si di n'etiti ohia
Otua ka gi, onye n'ahum n'anya, di n'ebe umu okoro no
O n'amasim idabere n'ahu gi
Uto isusu onu gi nasom ka uvune
Were oyo nkpuru osisi uvune gbaam ume
Werekwa nkpuru osisi udara tutem
N'ihi na ihunanya m nwere n'ebe I no
N'egbum ka mmanya ngwo

Lee k'isi maa mma nwoke, gi onyem huru n'anya
N'ezia, I n'egbu amuma
Obim tiri kpum kpum mgbe I sirim, "bilie, obim, onye nkem hukariri n'anya, som".
Ihunanyam, I bu nkem, abukwam nke gi
I nerughari n'etiti ufiri osisi ugba nke nwere isi uto
Mgbe nile n'ime abali n'elu ihe ndinam
Kam choro gi, onye obim huru n'anya
Ma ahughim gi
Agam ebili je Isinweke
Site n'owuwa anyanwu umuihi rue n'odida anyanwu lowa
A gam acho gi, onye ihe ya na amasim
A jurum, "onye huru onyem huru n'anya?
Otu ntabi anya, achotawom onyem huru n'anya
Amakurum gi, jidesia gi ike, achoghikwam k'ipua
Tutu akpobatam gi n'iru nnem, onye murum

Amanda, come to Abadaba,
Tread beside me in the glassy calm
This is no time for a swim
'Tis time to gaze at nothing
Nay to gaze at nature
You and I are nature
Abadaba reflects the sparkle in your eyes

Amanda come away to Biafra
And bring a picnick ekete
Load epe, uvune and udara
Drape the ekete in our flag
Let the rising sun be our guide
Through the woods of biafra
And we'll let our eyes do the talking

I can understand your frustration. This your thread will probably win TB's award for the most distracted and hijacked topic thread in the cyberspace.

Mandy,

Bon jour !!
Did you sleep well?
Don't ask me

I hear you.
All will be calm today
There'll be no storm
Just peace and tranquil

Yeah all will be calm today
Even my heart won't beat
I'll pretend I'm numb
And just gaze into space

All will be calm today
The raging storm is over
whether it's for a season
I couldn't tell

All will be calm today
Not that I loose my cool in storm
Just that to blow hot n cold
Is all part of the fun

All will be calm today
Not that I dread adventure
Nor I'm I good at backing out
Just that I'm feelin' shy.

Even as I gaze at you in slumber
Wondering if I should let you be
My mind slipped away somewhere
Where we climbed the chichiba tree
Plucking its ripe fruits to slate our hunger

polygamy is fast going out of fashion especially as more men are becoming more enlightened and more women more independent. The latest fads in town, such as "born againism" with regards to the two most popular religions in the country. The changes in cultural and societal values are forces that are fast eroding the practice of polygamy as well as many other practices that are perceived to be detrimental to modern dictates.

All these notwithstanding, some men still find themselves caught in this web against their will. Monogamy, despite how hard they tried, just didn�t work out for them. They inevitably find themselves in the arms of another woman. Some have surprisingly gone farther to take a third. The story here is that once you�ve crossed the deadly border between number one and two, then the sky could as well be your limit. By then, the man will be as free as the air he breathes to do as he pleases. It is said that all his women will fall over each other to please him just as it is predicted in the book of Isaiah 41:1: that "And in that day seven women shall take hold of one man saying we will eat our own bread, and wear our own apparel: only let us be called by thy name, to take away our reproach."

Though this passage seems to be talking about the end time, some are of the opinion that truly the end time is here.

There is also the Qu�ranic teaching wherein the Muslims imbibed the culture that it is best for one man to acquire four women unto himself. Though modern islamic scholars have contested that the clause therein stipulates that such a man must deal with the women equally with justice. A school of thought however says this is not possible for anyone to do. No matter how much he may even try, it is most likely that the women will not believe him and are bound to engage in activities that will thwart his efforts, most, if not all the time.

Already, going by the last population count, women appear to be in the lead, some say with a ratio of four females to one male. A similar picture is to be found in many countries across the world. If these were to be so, what will happen to the left over women when the monogamous status was to apply to all.

Respondents stories on this issue were published last month and contributions from readers have already began rolling in. In this edition we bring you another story from our reader who resides here in Lagos, he explains that there are so many reasons why men go out of their ways and vows to seek the companionships of other women while already married to one.

Remember that if you or someone you know of have had a similar experience. Or you wish to add your voice to this article, please feel free to do so. Just write to: The Human Angle, Vanguard, P.M.B. 1007 Apapa, Lagos. E-mail address: [email protected]. Cheers!

Dear Yetunde,

I have always read your piece with very keen interest. Over the years, my wives too have come to identify me with the page as I never missed the opportunity to buy Vanguard Newspapers and read your column, often some of the advices your readers deal out have come in handy from time to time. I was never moved to the point of picking up pen and paper to send in a contribution until I read the above named caption. I hope you will find this little contribution of mine interesting enough to publish in your highly esteemed column. You are surely doing a good job, please keep it up.

As rightly indicated by the varied contributions of your respondents, one will see that there are so many reasons why men go out of their ways, values and vows to seek the companionship of another woman while already married to one. As the saying goes, there is no smoke without fire. It is the desire of every human being male or female to live a peaceful life devoid of stress and anxiety. However, it is also the responsibility of every human being to live up to the challenges of life. Much as the touted excuses about variety being the spice of life seem to contribute a great deal to the practice of polygamy, other factors, very serious ones do adduce to it so much that they cannot be regarded as fibble nor wished away. A nagging wife is the worst kind of woman a man can find himself saddled with, there is nothing one can do to please such a woman, not until you drop dead, even then she will still find something to complain about. There are so many types of women created by God and on the overall, we know what women are like not to now mention a woman that has that instinct in excess.

My own drift into the state of polygamy did not really have to do with a nasty experience in the hands of any woman, I am a victim of circumstance. I was born an only child of my mother and right from childhood I�d been made to understand that I must provide her with children as early as I could. As I grew older, every girl I dared talk to and brought home instantly became a potential wife to my mother. She would waste no time in telling her to hurry up with whatever was holding us back so that we could make her a grand mother. This kind of anxiety by my mother was responsible for the birth of my first child, a girl born to me by a lady I just couldn�t imagine myself being married to. My mother did not try to force me into marrying the mother but gladly accepted the baby and cared for her. Unfortunately, when I did decided to get married, my first wife died at childbirth and I was saddled with a second daughter without a wife. Two years after, I remarried, but my mother wouldn�t allow the matter rest, to her I was not destined a one man one woman kind of person, I had to have more than one so that when one is not available, the other will be. Mind you, this is not saying anything about death. It could mean desertion or separation or anything like that. If you are an only child of your mother you will know the kind of pressure I�m talking about. Anyway, I soon found myself entangled with another woman.

It was not a very difficult thing because I�d never promised my wife that I will be faithful to her. I neither took her to court or the registry for a marriage to be contracted, I only sought the permission of her parents who were polygamists too. As a woman, she did not like the idea and thereafter nothing I ever did could satisfy her. I did not bring the woman home, I rented an apartment for her and she had two children for me before she left. Each of them wanted me to drive the other away, which I could not do. Eventually, the one outside packed out, I believed because she got a better offer from another man to become his third wife. After her departure, I got another one to replace her but this time, we all lived together.

I had a flat to myself with my steward, while they shared another with their children. The other flats were rented out.

This was where my problems began. There was always trouble in the house. If it is not the mothers, its their children or a combined thing. There was always tension in the air, you know, backbiting, malice and fighting. They were always fighting over one thing or the other. Whenever I am unfortunate to find myself in their midst, they will both beat me up too. It came to a stage when I now became afraid to come home after working hours. I lived perpetually in fear of their squabbles. It finally became so wild that I decided to send them packing. After the quit notice, the first one left and eight months later, the second too packed out. She said people were gossiping that she was responsible for the departure of her mate.

The first (or should I say the third) wife was a banker while the fourth was a teacher. But after marrying them, I introduced them to the world of business and they both had their shops and a car each. Everything was perfect as far as I was concerned.

I married all my wives according to the native law and custom (traditional marriage). It was when I had two of them living together that I realised that there is something wrong with polygamy. Mind you this is from the viewpoint of most women. When they lived apart, I didn�t notice any friction, if there was any. As you know human beings are funny. I did like one better than the other. The senior wife was fond of going out without my knowledge. She could go for days without notice. But the junior one would never try that. Again she was very troublesome, initiating most of the quarrels they had. The other woman had her own vices too, but not a thing that I could not cope with, were she to be an only wife. I had to stick to her (the senior) because of the kids. She was however the first to pack out when I gave them the notice.

I believe I treated them equally to the best of my ability and may God be my witness. I gave the same amount of money to them for their monthly allowance except on special occasions, I never discriminated against them financially. I slept with them on equal basis one week each and where I sleep is where I eat. It was up to you to devise the method to utilise your own week. I think I satisfied them in this aspect too, at least to the best of my ability. When I am ill, they both stay at home to take care of me. I never caught anybody with juju, (native medicine) so, if they were engaging in it, I cannot tell. Ironically, it was the one I loved most that I once caught with a lover. It however did not bother me since I had given them the quit notice then. I would describe myself as a carefree person. I can�t let such things bother me. I will just pretend that nothing has happened.

There are men with four wives and they are coping fine with them. I couldn�t have done more than I did with all of them. All the children stay with me. I clothed and feed my children and they are all in private schools. So I have not suffered my wives in any way.

After their departure in 1990, I remained single for two years before I finally married a young lady early in 1993. Now I have only one wife and I am happy. I doubt if I can marry someone else again because I don�t want to have more children. My new wife has agreed that she cannot have more than two children. I have ten already so, I will have 12 that is enough for me.

I have no regrets. I think the only mistake I made was when I brought two women to reside with me. When they were separated, there was no problem. I would advise younger men not to take more than one wife at a time. And if you must, not under the same roof. It saps a lot of energy from you, emotionally and financially. If you have a peaceful loving relationship with your partner, there is absolutely no need to bring in a third party to destroy what you have. It is a wrong notion that keen competition from the other woman helps to conform the behaviours of the wayward woman. From my own experience, I can say, it adds more to the problem and makes her more nasty. She will begin to show all the traits that you have never seen or imagined from her. Most women are never satisfied with anything no matter how much you give. That is why you will see women even in monogamous relationships who can�t even stand the sight of their in-laws. They want everything for themselves and their children. It is the women that create the problems in polygamous relationships.

Take a look at the lifestyle of the Hausa woman. They are always contented with what they have many of them live in purdah and never complain. They wait patiently for their turn and take care of their husband and children.

There are times that the problems may arise from the man, but basically the women create it. They see us as a battle, which must be won by one person. But this is not so.

I thank our brother who brought this important discussion. God did not consult with any when he created the heavens & earth. He�s omniscience. So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. Genesis.1: 27 (kjv).
If polygamy was his initial plans, no one could remind him. However, he created us as free moral agents, for this reason he dose not compel us to go against our will. Rather he delights to warn us of the impending dangers.

Those of us that came, or married, from polygamous families could, bear witness that it�s not bed of roses. Sometime, is a battlefield. A single woman is sometime difficult to deal with then, five or above will be more difficult. Peace is important to any family. Some, is mini hell. On no occasion will the man have equal love for them, while this remains the only reason the bible warns for this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and cleave to his wife and they twain shall be one flesh. Matthew.19: 5. He never said wives. For reference purposes, see Mt.19: 4-5, Mt.10: 6-7, Titus.1: 6, One wife 1Tim.3: 2 & 12, One Hus 1Tim.5: 9 etc, etc.

Polygamy or monogamy,legality or no legality, the important issue is, where will you spend eternity? The lord is about to return to earth, is your heart right with God? Death is eminent by all, and there is no way of escape. The Lord is calling on you to reconcile with him before is too late. I know you might not like this message, beloved of God is a healing to your soul if you heed to his call.

And I saw a great white throne, and him that sat on it, from whose face the earth and the heaven fled away; and there was found no place for them. And I saw the dead, small and great, stand before God; and the books were opened; and another book was opened, which is the book of life: and the dead were judged out of those things which were written in the books, according to their works.

And the sea gave up the dead who was in it; and death and hell delivered up the dead which were in them: and they were judged every man according to their works. And death and hell were cast into the lake of fire. This is the second death. And whosoever was not found written in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire. Revelation.20: 11-15. Is your name in the book of life? Yes, you can be hundred percent sure that your name is there. Think about this!

The sentence, "God made man in his image" is far reaching and is hardly understood by the greatest majority of people, especially the christians. I do have a little difficulty understanding where you are coming from on your religious writings so far.

Decide where you pitch your tent... Is it in christianity, judaism, islamizm, or traditional religion? Then when you make your point , let it reflect any of the above position. That way, any one interested in responding to your write-up would be able to do so concisely.

To really get into the issue of poligamy and its deterrent, there are preliminary crucial steps to be taken. First, you have to decide if you are (1) a one-Nigerian or (2) a Biafra actualization activists. The making of this choice will determine the next course of action in tackling the poligamy stigma.

If you are a one Nigerian, then you need to take your protest to your law makers starting from the local govt level and all the way to the senate. I should remark that given the level of crude lawlessness and backwardness inherent in Nigeria, you have your work cut out for you.

Should you determine that you are a pro-Biafra activist, then your wish for poligamy-free society takes a totally different dimension. This dimension will see to it that the practice of poligamy is embedded in the Biafra constitution as illegal with stiff punishment attached. Same goes with the inhuman outcast system and the victimization/violation of widows... among other atrocities which are currently practised but are in stiff contrast to the statement, God made man in his own image.